Sometimes I don't think it's utterly hopeless, because he's told me snatches of things, how he had a crush on me in eighth grade, how I'm pretty, or only half-jokingly "smoking hot"...but he has her, and he is happy with her, and I want him to be happy and I have no intention of trying to end their relationship.
I have told him nothing. Absolutely nothing. In five years I have given him absolutely no signs of my romantic affection at all. (I applaud myself at my self control, I really do).
He's attending the same university program as me next year, so it's not as if the end of high school is the ultimate end of us. But I don't know if anything will ever happen and if he will ever break up with her and I can't possibly wish that on him.
In the meantime, I think I'll just sit around and bitch.